Episode 6

What are Benjamin’s thoughts on the Olympics?
I love them the 1st week – diving, gymnastics, swimming, volleyball – LOVE it! Now, I am about over it and ready for TV again. My attention span is too short for 2 weeks of this. You know what, I don’t feel guilty about it either. I am just saying what everyone else is thinking!

What are you like at your worst?
An absolute biotch. I rant; I yell; I pace; I speak before thinking; I have to stop myself from hitting; and I hold a grudge. Sometimes I work myself up so much I cry out of anger. It is not a pretty sight. Thankfully, I have gotten pretty good at feeling it come on and can control it. Then sometimes it just sneaks up on my and I let it rip. The worst part – I very rarely feel guilty about it and will continue to hold a grudge. I say again, Matt is a strong, patient, loving man.

Dogs or Cats? Why?
Dogs, for several reasons... 1) I like to play with them and cats don’t really like to play. 2) They are the most loving, loyal creatures in the world. 3) I am allergic to cats. 4) I like being needed – cats are too damn independent.

Who are you voting for?
As of right now, I am voting for Obama – the lesser of 2 evils. I was a Hillary person and remain unconvinced that Obama is the saving grace everyone is making him out to be. We are really only setting him up for failure – no one can do all and be all that he is being made into. A part of me is still considering McCain. I figure he can’t screw things up more than they already are, and he is so old there is no way he is going to be re-elected. Maybe he will just go in, not worry about getting re-elected, and set some things straight – worry free. The main thing I don’t like about McCain, other than he is ancient and I don’t know how I feel about a President who puts ABBA in their favorite songs category and doesn’t know how to email, is that I don’t feel like he is very honest. I am not sure why I think that, but there is just something about him that I don’t feel is very truthful – like he is hiding something or just telling you what you want to hear. I think I may do a write in vote and vote for myself or Paris. “See you at the debates, bitches!”

Olympic Hopeful

Continuing in my new tradition of posting funny videos, I present you with "Olympic Hopeful". I literally laughed out loud, tears rolling down my face, at work. If the Olympics were like this, I would never get sick of them. Enjoy.

Funny!

Apparently instead of blogging, I am just going to post videos. They are so funny - I can't help it!

My New Favorite Blog

Some amazing sites my co-workers sent me... Hilarious and time consuming.
Jackie:
White People

Jake:
Barack Obama is our new Savior
(the creator got so mad at people making him out to be everything and anything, he made this, and I think it is amazing)

Jake again:
Educated Black People

And the winner is...
Tina:
Black People Love Us!


Happy Tuesday!

What we spend our time doing at work...

Duane, creator of Hello Benjamin, hosts a WTW (white trash weekend) at his brothers house in BA. One of our client's is friends with his brother, and of course attended. Not only did she attended, she "particifucked". Because Jake couldn't leave well enough alone, he decided to humiliate her. And make this video at work. I had to share.

I need your help please!

Funny 80’s photo needed

I am working on an ad (see attached) and I need an authentic 80’s photo. The ad is going to be in Tulsa area publications. We need a high resolution photo so you would need to send us a scan. If you have a good photo we will make you famous… or at least infamous. The ad will not feature your real name unless you want it to and it can be male or female, individual or group. If you think you have a good photo let me know.

Quote of the Day

Cecily Nobler (Edge Celebrity Gossip call-in lady) "I don't really know why, but this year the Olympics are rockin my freakin soul." Ditto Porter!

Episode 5

Which bear is best?
First thought is Koala, but I feel like maybe it isn’t a bear. So my next thought is Panda, but again, I feel like it is named wrong. Black Bear. I know for certain it is a bear and so I will go with Black Bear. In all honesty, I am not a bear fan. Call me crazy… They are big, hungry animals and frankly, I hope I never see one in the wild. I am not going to go as far as Steven Colbert and put them on my Dead to Me list, but they definitely have potential to make the list should I ever see one in person.

Worst pick up line you have ever heard? And, best?
Worst – someone actually came up to my friend at a bar and seriously tried the “are you rlegs tired, because they have been running through my mind all night” line. And yes, we did call him out on both using a generic line, and getting it wrong. The best line I have ever heard… the guy just casually said “You are looking particularly enchanting tonight.” And then just walked off. Immediately, I was intrigued! He didn’t try and stay and annoy me and follow through. Very nice... Had I not been married, I would have sent him a thank you drink.

What do you think of quantum physics?
I think I am proud of myself for being able to announce quantum. I think quantum physics and I have a lot in common, actually. Our energy is not continuous, but small discrete units (my energy is probably not ALWAYS discreet), my our movements are inherently random. Bet you thought that would throw me, didn’t ya!? Wikipedia is an amazing thing.

Favorite children’s book?
Anything Dr. Suess. I think I will have to go with Red Fish, Blue Fish.

We watched the most recent Brittany Spears eTHS this weekend. It was pretty awesome, what do you think of Brittany Spears? What could she have done “better” over the last 3 years?
That is a silly question. I think you know all to well, that I am a die hard Brit Brit fan. Yes she went crazy, no she isn’t the best singer, or mother, or person. I don’t care. There is a special place in my heart for Britany – damn the consequences! What could she have done better over the past 3 years? Are you kidding me?!? Yes, she went crazy… but she stayed in the media and relevant for 3 years with out releasing a major album or touring. She got on the VMA awards (albeit, she bombed), and now is nominated for a VMA this year – for an admittedly bad video. Crazy like a fox! America loves a comeback, and she is about to make one heck of a comeback. It was the road less traveled, but she is back, baby!

I have to share...

No words...

Things We Learned Last Night...

1. People from Canada are funny and also enjoy a good mullet from time to time.
2. If you take a picture of the mullet family, Blaze and I are going to call you out on it.
3. ALWAYS have your camera with you. The one time you don't,you will be sitting in front of a family of mullets (Dad, 2 sons, daughter and baby) AND a man dressed as Mario, as in the Mario Brothers, will be there. He even had a ? box that he jumped up to hit and a mushroom came out. I swear, I was not on mushrooms...
   
4. Rock Steady is not a good song to volunteer to karaoke to, especially as a duet.
   
5. You should not do karaoke, especially if you don't know the song.
6. Blaze and I are not cool, nor can we hang. However, I now know that I have a medical excuse.
   
7. Gallbladders make you sick, and don't like it when you eat pizza and hotdogs in one day. In fact, it makes them angry and they attack you.
   
8. Drillers games might be the best people watching experience ever.
   

Some Random Things I Need to Get off My Chest...

1. I think it is both hilarious and awesome about Brett Favre. He is so awesome he turned down $20 million to NOT play football. And now he is going to be playing for the Jets. The only reason that excites me is because I am a Jets fan. Why you ask? Because now that is who Bret plays for? No, that just gives me another reason (however I am still a Packers fan). Justin Miller plays for the Jets and we went to high school together. So I am a Jets fan because of Justin and now he gets to play with Bret! Lucky!!
2. I have 2 new favorite phrases from Project Runway: Holler at your boy. (I could have cared less about this phrase until Tim Gunn said it, and now I think it is hilarious. When I hear it, now I hear his voice saying it and I can't help but laugh) and Tanorexic, as in Blayne is literally having a mental breakdown because he hasn't been tanning in a week.
3. Paris Hilton saying "see you at the debate, bitches" might be the best thing she has ever done. That and suggest that she might paint the white house pink.
4. There was nothing on last night and I watched Greatest American Dog. I like it because it proves that I am not the craziest person in the world, and somehow, some people are more obsessed with their dogs than me. However, I am not convinced that the contestants are more crazy than the judges. I am pretty sure the judges and host are COMPLETELY off their rocker. Do yourself a favor and watch it for about 5 minutes. You won't be able to look away.

When I started this, I had 5 things I wanted to share with the group, but now I can't think of the last. Stay tuned... I am sure I will think of it later