More Randomness (and some rantings)

I have decided that, as tasteless and boring as they are, I am going to bring frozen dinners to work for lunch. My New Year's resolutions (shocking and orginal) were to eat better, get in shape, and save more money. This may surprise you, as it did me, but eating at the delis downstairs everyday, some times 2x a day, is actually NOT helping me accomplish any of those goals. Weird right? I know!

Also weird, sympathy bad moods. I was in, I am not going to lie and call it great mood, but a non-existent, vanilla mood this morning. Then I talked to Blaze and she seemed not herself (I also call emailing talking... don't judge me!). So I read her blog... Apparently she is in a bad mood, even though she says she has no reason to be in a bad mood. Now I find myself not in a good mood, and what some might call, a bad mood. I think it is a sympathy bad mood. Is that possible? Weird? Creepy? I think all of the above qualify.

Spoiler Alert: Project Runway finale was last night. Least shocking finale since, um, ever: Christen wins. Maybe I am not as fashionable as I think. Maybe I can't stand to hear a whiny, gay, tiny person (notice i am NOT using the word man here) say something about how fabulous, or fierce (cringe) he and his designs are. Nor can I tolerate other people using it like it is a now acceptable term. Kuddos to Posh for keeping to Major instead of Fierce. I am not saying that the other designers were better, even though i liked more of their pieces... I think more I just didn't want him to win and have to hear about his fierceness...

Last thought for now... We have these new snack things in the kitchen. Even though I don't like spicey things, I tried one. I will refrain from using the name, because it is my understanding that some people like these. Here is my thought about them. They taste like BO smells. Even the aftertaste lingers like BO. I swear on everything holy, it tastes like you have licked the armpit of someone strongly opposed to bathing or wearing deodorant. Let me know if you figure out what I am talking about. And if you do, I apologize in advance.

Mother in Laws... Creatures from the Black Lagoon??

I have been thinking about Mother-In-Laws alot lately. Maybe it is because mine is in town visiting my not-so-new house anymore for the first time, or because it seems that no one, no matter how sane she was when the kids were dating, has a sane mother-in-law. Honestly, mine went nutso. I am not kidding! But going into all of that is an entirely different blog!

There are 2 other girls I work with who have crazy mother-in-laws, and it seems that they all have friends whose MIL are crazy too. I don't really understand how their kids deciding to get married makes them literally go insane. I am vowing here and now to try my darnedest NOT to go crazy when my kids get married. Because you are all reading this, it is now your job to remind me of this vow when I start to slip. Blaze and I have decided to write ourselves letters to read when we are older to remind ourselves what to do and what not to do.

Here are a few suggestions (learned from experience and stories others have told me):

1. Don't, under any circumstances, register or change the registry for your children. If they registered for it, there has to be a reason. And it doesn't matter why they want it, they do. If you don't agree with it, don't buy it for them! If they have made some horrible GRAVE mistake, you may mention it in passing that you were looking through the list to get some ideas what you wanted to get them and noticed that they are registered for 3 different sets of China or twin sheets... And most of all, do not critique what they registered for. Just because it isn't your style doesn't mean it is ugly!
2. Do tell the bride how beautiful she is and is going to be in her dress every time she mentions it. This is especially true for Mothers of the Bride. I get it - not everyone is into weddings and wedding dresses - understandable. And even if you think the bride isn't one of those people, we still expect it. In our heads, it is what is supposed to happen. I don't care if you have to pull out a nose hair to make yourself tear up! Show an emotion! Fake enthusiasm.
3. Just because you are paying for it, does not actually in fact mean that it is YOUR wedding. You don't get to pick the colors, or the flowers, or the attendants, or really, anything. You may certainly have an opinion, and are more than welcome to give it when asked for it. You are not, however, allowed to give it to us and expect us to take it as gospel, or tell us our different opinion is wrong. Unless you are 1 of the 2 people standing at the front, your opinion is just that - your opinion.
4. Do remember what you learned in kindergarten. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
5. Don't expect to have a mother-daughter relationship with you DIL the day she gets engaged. She has a mother-daughter relationship with her mother based on years of love and fights and learning to put up with the other. We are close to our moms because she put up with us between the ages of 12 and 18. You haven't put in your time yet.
6. You don't like other people cleaning your house or organizing your house when you didn't ask them. Why would you do it for your DIL?! What you are saying to her is: "You are not keeping my sons house the way I would, or good enough. You are a bad wife." Even if that is what you are thinking (and shame on you for thinking it!) don't act on it. Please refer to #4. Actions speak louder than words. You don't want someone going through your stuff. Even if it is intended to help and be a nice gesture, fight the urge!
7. Don't ask when you are going to have grandchildren. Most likely, you are going to get them... Don't push.
   
8. Don't ask what we did on our honeymoon, and more importantly DON'T under ANY circumstances, go through our camera or picture folders with out us there and without our permission! Unless you are an idiot, you have a pretty good idea of what we spent most of our time doing on the honeymoon, which is why you shouldn't look at the pictures unless we show them to you. Trust me on this one, it can lead to no good.

I am thinking about writing a book, like "Idiots Guide to Being a new Mother-In-Law". If you have any Do and Don't's or just a funny story, send it my way :)

Crazy Lady!

I read a blog this morning by a woman whose husband cheated on her. The blog is more or less about all the things she does to get back at him (you have to read it to believe it!) Check it out and come on back :) http://thatgirlemily.blogspot.com/

At first I just thought "This woman has lost her damn mind!" Then I think, "No, God forbid Matt ever did something like that, I am crazy enough to take revenge." But now that I thought about it more, I don't think I could go THAT far! I mean, she DESTROYED him!!! Until I saw the video and pictures, I just thought, shes just writing what she wishes she could do... She really did it! I mean, he could make a case to have her institutionalized!! I would!

I know, he cheated and should have his thing cut off and shoved down his throat... but I don't think it warrants all that! Am I alone here?! Maybe I don't have as much crazy in me as I thought. Or maybe I just love my husband enough to not want to destroy his entire existance for a mistake - I would just want him dead. And her, she would have to die first. Well, maybe I would want him destroyed and humilitated. No... I really think I have more respect than that. Maybe I'm just a newlywed. Who knows.

Matt, if you are reading this: You have seen me go crazy - Imagine what that would make me do! But I know you would never do anything like that :) "Tell me you'll always love me more. Tell me you'll love me more than the baby. Say it. Say you'll always love me more than the baby!"

(Rent Waitress if you haven't already. It isnt the best movie in the world, but you'll never get that quote it you dont. Or just continue thinking I'm crazy... Either way :)

Random Thoughts

So... i am a HUGE Biggest Loser fan. (You don't have to admit it, but we all know you watch it!). any who... I am watching the Couples Season (made because the writers refuse to keep doing what they do a crappy job at... more of this to come). I have to say, this seems kinda brutal. The father and daughter team is up for elimination. I came in in the middle of the episode, so I dont know the full story. But, the daughter only lost 7 pounds and the dad, who doesnt want to be there, lost 19. When she was crying to him about not wanting to go home for the sake of his health, he was like "well X, you lost the least amount of anyone, and I lost 19 pounds, so thanks, but we are going home" WHAT AN ASS!!!! He just more or less called his daughter a fat lazy ass on national TV. I'll let you know how elimination goes...

Update: the father/daughter team was kicked off. Shocker of all shockers. The dad more or less refused to loose weight and lost like an inch. The daughter did loose wieght and is starting to look pretty good. Way to show your a-hole dad!

About this writers strike. It needs to end. I mean, no offense writers, but you werent doing that great of a job to begin with. It has gone on too long. If you had ended this about a month ago, we would have stood up for you and said "sure, you deserve what you are asking for, whatever that is". But now you are really starting to piss me off! What about the other people on the show who aren't getting paid?!?! I'm not talking about the actors, but the production people who don't get paid the big bucks. Not to mention that I am bored and this is now F***ing with my life! I want Greys Anatomy, Desparate Housewives, Womens Murder Club, even CSI and Without a Trace!!! As bad as they are, I still like them and miss them. And now! The Golden Globes have been cancelled!?!? WTF?! Will it never end?! This has gone too far!

I ask you again, Why don't I have my own show?! Blaze, I know you feel me!

Bored at work with nothing to do...

Tulsa is a frozen tundra; my house has no power; my office does. So obviously, I am at work. Flip side of that is that there is nothing to do, because no one else is working. So I get to blog all day. Every time I think about leaving, I see another sheet of ice fall off the building across the street from me. That is not a risk I am willing to take. That is just a headline waiting to happen.

Marriage is awesome, but it changes things...

• bar conversations - I walked into the strangest conversation between Matt and one of his good friends, who is married with a kid. They used to be hippy friends together and talk about bands and camping and sports. They were talking about financial planning and retirement funds and college funds etc. Later Matt told me "that was the final moment when I realized I am REALLY married and so are my friends. We are adults who talk about those things." Neither of us ever thought we would be grown ups one day.
• getting hit on - When you are single and getting hit on all the time (at least thats what it seems like it used to be) it was really annoying and creepy. Once you get a ring, it is like this shield that makes you invincible to every male in the room - except for EXTREME creepy creepersons. But even when you get hit on by the creepiest guy in the room, it is exciting because SOMEONE hit on you and it wasn't your husband! That means you are still hot!
  
• girls are skanky whores - the second guys put on a wedding ring, they immediately become irresistibly hot to skank whores. I mean it, Matt has been blatantly hit on with me sitting next to him. Turns out, this happens to alot of Matt's friends and is pretty common. WTF?! I don't understand it. If anyone figures it out, catch me up.
• Privacy and TMI are a thing of the past. I will not explain further; use your imagination.
• When you are single and dating, you want grand gestures from guys to prove their interest. Marriage is all about the little things. For example, this weekend we went to lunch and decided to get cobbler to go for later. I got up to go to the bathroom and told Matt to go ahead and order it. He asked what kind I wanted (I like blackberry, he likes peach). I said "I think we got blackberry last time; I'm fine with peach this time." When I got it out to eat later, it was blackberry :)
• Kids - before you were praying that you didn't get pregnant and how horrible it would be to tell your family (especially your dad) and friends that you are pregnant. I don't care what century it is - we are still going to talk about it if you get pregnant before you are married. Now that we are married, people expect you to have kids. Realizing this was my first big "so we are really married" moment. I realized that instead of my mom going "Oh Rachel..." she would pee her pants with excitement. I'm not going to lie, it is still going to be strange telling our families that we are pregnant (yes, it's a "we" situation). What says "Hey family, we are doing it ALOT" more than "we're having a kid"?!
• Two incomes - this rocks!

There are SO many other things it changes... I will keep you posted as I figure them out. I am going to go home and keep my dogs company.

Enjoy!

Take THAT "cool people"

Matt and I used to be cool. We were cool before we started dating, we were cool when we were dating, we were even cool when we were engaged. We jumped into being old and married with both feet. Don't get me wrong, we go out. We still go out and drink and have a good time and mingle. We just dont do it as frequently or as strong as we used to. For instance... A few weekends ago I told Matt and Blaze "I want to get shit faced!" So I did. I wasn't the drunkest I have ever been by any means. This is where being old comes in. I started throwing up around 6 am and didnt fully recover until about 3 in the afternoon.
This weekend was different. A friend from work had an ugly Christmas Sweater party - in Claremore (who lives in Claremore and WHY?!). So we went. Matt, the awesome husband that he is, stayed sober so I could drink and mingle with my work friends. So I did. Then Matt's friends called from McNellies around 11. So we went there. (yes, we did in fact wear our ugly Christmas sweaters to the bar - proudly) I am happy to report that we closed a bar. We were so proud of ourselves. We even slept in bed until 1 in the afternoon. I dont remember the last time I did that! Mind you, it was NOT because we were hung over - we weren't. The power was out, so what else were we supposed to do? Besides, we are too cool for hangovers :)

So take that "cool people"! We are married, we go out, we close bars, we sleep till noon! We are cool again! Until next weekend atleast.

Side note for all those people who think that being married will hurt your partying and going out: it really makes it better. Case in point: When you are single and drunk and home alone and get hungry when you are already in bed, what do you do? You lay there miserably wishing you could pass out so you stop thinking about it. When you are married, there is someone who will make you a turkey and cheese sandwich when you are drunk and spiny.

Cast of My Life

Rachel (me) - I am 24, married, and work in Marketing. I love my job, and although there are great perks and benefits, the best is that I can wear jeans and a t-shirt every day if I want to. I love fashion, mainly shoes. The taller and pointy-er the better. Nine West and BCBG are my favorite. My favorite color is pink, but I try not to be obnoxious about it. I can be very hyper and loud and excited, and 10 minutes later be quiet and calm. I have a Brittany Spaniel named Lola who I am overly obsessed with. I have OCD, but only about very random things. My husband tells me I am ridiculous.

Matt (my husband) - Matt is 29 and is an operations manager for a cleaning company. From what I understand of his job, he drives around to his accounts and gets to see what everyone else does at work. His job fascinates me. Matt is everyone's best friend. He could talk to a brick wall. He has an Irish Setter named Bleu - he might be mentally retarded. He lets me be a spoiled brat - he tells me about it, but he still lets me do it. He is obsessed with sports. He once interviewed for a sports web site job and had to take a test to test his sports knowledge. He found 3 mistakes on the test. Arkansas Razorbacks are one of his main reasons for living. One of the most romantic things he has ever said to me is: " I love you more than the Razorbacks." He is just as ridiculous as I am. There is no doubt in my mind I would be lost with out him.

Blaze (good friend) - Blaze and I met the first day of Rush my freshman year. She was a Junior and I was her "rush crush". Blaze, I am here and now officially giving you full credit for me joining the house. Blaze is just as, if not more, ridiculous as I am, but would never admit it. She loves shoes, but not to the disgusting level that I do. We have been told that we each live in our own world and just occasionally our worlds collide. Its funny because its true. Her fiance and my husband are friends, and so we get to hang out alot - which is funny and dangerous.

Emily (good friend) - Emily and I hated each other freshman year. Since then, we are best friends. We have been roommates since our sophomore year. Emily moved to Austin last year and I miss her alot more than I admit. Todd, her boyfriend of 2 years (3?) proposed last weekend. I am excited to announce that she said yes. Sometimes I think about how brave she is for moving to Austin all by herself, but then I think about how sad she is sometimes, and that makes me sad, so I have to stop thinking about it.

Lola (my dog) - If you don't love Lola, you have no soul. She is so lovey and calm and just freakin adorable. She is really just an oversized cat, but I'm allergic to cats, so I'm glad she is a dog. She is very sassy. I rescued her from the pound; she was a puppymill mom. I tell everyone she is a recovered whore. This is Lola. She ate my pink fuzzy slipper. We were meant for each other.